Every real story spills outside the neat lines of genre. In real life, the rollercoaster ride of a spy thriller may also be a love story; epic tragedy may go hand in hand with family comedy. Real life also challenges the traditional arc of plot: a life has many peaks, drops, and loops.
At the same time, each story’s shape depends on its point of view. Though Amna and Tariq are together on this journey, they each have a unique perspective, so this account will shift between them.
Amna didn’t plan to marry. Though her culture expected it, in her family, women could choose. Her sister had chosen career over marriage, and she saw the same path for herself. She had a degree in English Literature and a challenging job that she loved; mostly, she was content.
Then she saw Tariq’s profile pic on Facebook. He was her romantic type, dark and rugged, but there was something more, too. She liked his photo enough to “like” it and even ventured to post a comment. But who was he? In a city where everyone was somehow connected to everyone else, she asked around to find out more about him.
“I stalked him,” she laughs.
She liked what she learned: he was steady, honorable, and hardworking. She remained cautious, but she sensed he was that rare thing, a man she could trust to respect her.
“When I started talking with him on the phone, I felt he was different from other men. He was funny and cute, but also he wasn't shallow. He listened to everything I said, and he was always, always respectful. He made me feel so special.”
They had many phone conversations before he saw her face. He would say later that he could tell from the flirty-hopeful tone of her male coworkers’ voices when they stopped into her office that she was pretty. Eventually, she decided they should meet in person—no small step—and arranged a way.
“I needed to make a connection between the picture and reality.”
What made it “no small step”? Their society demanded and closely guarded women’s chastity, and families also fiercely protected women from real dangers. Any strange man at the door was assumed to be up to no good. But Amna had an open-minded family and an office life outside the family home. While Tariq desperately wanted to meet her, his first care was for her reputation and safety.
When they finally met, neither was disappointed with the reality of the other. However, for Amna, caution kicked in. Knowing the next steps likely would be toward marriage, she decided to slow down.
She adds playfully, “I pulled back a little—and then he stalked me!” And then more seriously:
“This is one of the things I love about Tariq. When he saw me, he said to himself, this is the girl I’m going to marry—but he never pressured me.”
Eventually, their courtship progressed, and they were ready to Meet the Families. That also meant allowing their large, opinionated families to meet each other. The differences between her country family and his urban one eventually would become a source of humor, but at first, the clans clashed. To Amna’s horror, some relatives on her side openly expressed disapproval because Tariq’s father was of a different ethnicity than they were. Tariq’s family was so indignant that they declared the marriage impossible.
The couple didn’t want to give up, but with such overwhelming resistance, their courtship ended. Outside forces had carved a seemingly uncrossable divide between them, leaving both of them feeling like victims.
Two years passed without contact. She focused on her career and he on his. But where a family dispute had torn them apart, a war that divided and traumatized the whole country would bring them back together.
When war broke out, everything changed. The defeat of the oppressive old order also destroyed all semblance of stability. In the ensuing chaos, rival factions and foreign powers fought for control. Amna’s brothers drove her and other family members at a breakneck pace out of the city, down rubble-strewn roads, back to their family home in the country. Along the way, they made unthinkable plans for what to do if armed men stopped them. They all understood that capture was not an option.
They made it home to the relative safety of the mountains. But no one was really safe, and everyone’s thoughts turned to the people they cared about most. Hers turned to Tariq.
“He was on my mind again. I worried about him and tried to find out if he was OK. Then I found out he was on vacation outside the country when the fighting started. I was so relieved to know he was all right. Then I knew I needed to talk with him again.”
They reconnected. In these violent times, everything between them was from the heart. They decided—he insisted—they had to be together. Their families would have to work it out.
Against the backdrop of a city still cleaning up rubble from bombs and firefights, they married. On their wedding night, she was so sick with a stomach bug that he had to bring her to the hospital, their first small taste of supporting each other through adversity. But they were in love and happy. They soon welcomed a baby boy, and then a little girl. Eager to build their life together like any young couple, they saved up money to buy a house.
Yet the world outside their apartment was falling into greater chaos. A second power struggle exploded into bombs and firefights. Increasingly brutal groups of men, each with foreign backing, battled for control of their city. Bodies littered the streets, and ordinary people huddled behind locked doors and simply tried to survive.
But Tariq was not ordinary, and his work was no office job. The heavy responsibilities he shouldered eventually would put their young family directly in the crosshairs.